This newsletter is about transformation
When you want to change something in your life, you can try to “force” it….
...and fight it and resist it and struggle against it.
Or, you can harness the power, the tension, and the energy of a potential transformation
It is possible to let it serve as "fuel" on the drive towards your goal(s)
So if you are (1) trying to add something new to your life....
or you (2) want to remove or upgrade some thing(s) that already exist in your life:
This Newsletter Is For You 😉
How to Remove a Bad Habit From Your Life
We’ve all struggled at one time or another with a behavior that we wanted to quit, but struggled to put an end to.
Most of us heap shame on ourselves for our failures & resolve to be better moving forward.
And while it's possible to struggle our way to “success”....we often give up on changing after we fail a handful of times.
Here is a 3 step plan to work with yourself (rather than fight against yourself) to remove a bad habit:
(1) Identify the Trigger(s) That Lead You To Engaging With Your Bad Habit(s)
Despite how advanced and intelligent humans are, many of our actions are subconscious….
….and even more of the underlying motivations + triggers for our actions are subconscious.
Thankfully, we can create the time and space to purposefully examine our actions & the underlying reasons for taking them.
The assignment is to build a running list of your triggers.
When you make the trigger conscious, it becomes easier to take positive actions in response.
(2) Pick Some Healthy Substitutes For Your Bad Habit
Triggers generate some sort of physical, mental, and/or emotional energy.
They create some sort of stimulus inside of you.
And you have two choices.
You can try to resist, suppress, or avoid that energy….
….or you can redirect the energy towards something productive, healthy, constructive, etc.
While the true solution often is to “depolarize” your triggers so that they create less + less of a stimulus over time…..
….that is often a longer term effort & it often helps to get professional help of some kind to do so.
But the ability to take a substitute action is available immediately. The purpose of the substitute action is to help you process the energy in a positive way.
It can be as simple as taking a walk...
....or doing some quick journaling about what you are thinking + feeling in that moment.
No matter what the substitute action is, the goal is to recognize the stimulus & to consciously redirect it....
....rather than attempt to resist or stifle it.
(3) Have Patience With & Compassion For Yourself Throughout The Process
Change can be hard....and sometimes it is really hard.
And even if you’ve seen something be easy for someone else, it might be a huge challenge for you.
So while of course it would be great if we all could rise to the challenge day in and day out….
….that is rarely how it goes.
How you choose to treat yourself when you “slip up” goes a long way.
It can be the difference between whether your process of change is enjoyable….or tortuous.
Understand that it is part of the process.
Use it as fuel and motivation to renew your commitment.
Examine the “slip up” to determine why it happened.
(i.e. maybe there are other triggers for the bad habit you haven’t identified yet)
It is possible to transform powered by love rather than shame or fear or disgust or anger. Be gentle with yourself and offer yourself grace throughout the process.
For more on this, see our article: Steps to Take to Break a Bad Habit. The top section of that article shares the key "3Rs" insight from Charles Duhigg's best selling book 'The Power of Habit'
The House of Routine Podcast
“One thing really does lead to the next, so it’s important to know what you’re signing up for” - Amanda Hirsch
If the first section of the newsletter is about subtracting something from your life (i.e. bad habits)....
....Amanda’s story illuminates how to create something new in your life.
In 35 minutes, Amanda demonstrates how to create with intention so that today’s dreams don’t turn into tomorrow’s nightmares.
And how to have a patient, consistent approach to keep showing up + keep improving as you grow towards your vision and your goals.
There is so much to learn from this conversation so give it a listen when you have the opportunity!
The House of Routine Podcast on Spotify + Apple Podcasts
We hope these tips work for you....but if they don't, then we hope that you summon the resilience to continue to seek out something that does 👀
No matter how you are "wired", you deserve to experience more ease, joy, + success in your attempts to create change in your life ❤️
In addition to next week's newsletter, we have a couple of exciting announcements coming in the week or two.
One is the opportunity to get paid to write for The House of Routine and the other gives you the chance to win prizes like cash, gift cards, and copies of our journals!
Stay tuned for those in the near future : )
- The House of Routine Team
Cover Photo by Suzanne D. Williams